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'YOUNOW' Part 4: Let True Love In


by Yetunde Bankole- Bernard

“Love those who appreciate you, and appreciate those who love you.” 
― Connor Chalfant


It’s Valentine’s season and as usual, there is an accompanying frenzy.

Something that baffled me especially when I was much younger is how the menfolk (mostly) would reserve Valentine’s Day for that someone they had been eyeing, even if she had been resistant or hostile on many occasions previously. Funnier still is how the girl would suddenly become ‘nicer’ and more approachable towards Valentine’s Day so she could get the ‘Be my Val’ proposal and corresponding ‘spoils'.

Would things be different if ‘Be My Val’ actually translated to ‘Spend the rest of your life with me’? And accepting meant ‘Yes! I will’
Would you still go on that dinner date?
Would you still accept the chocolates and flowers?

What really is Love?
We idealize it and develop unrealistic expectations about the nature of love, and what we hope to gain from it.

To the girl who isn’t interested in the people who are interested in her – who always wants the unattainable ones, the ones who seem to like a challenge. What you call love is actually a validation exercise.
 
To the girl who doesn’t give much thought to what she wants in terms of personal values and beliefs, but has a long list of peripheral qualities that she flat-out refuses to compromise on. What you call love is lust.
 
To the one who condemns her partner for not reacting to her the way she planned for him to react in her head: You only recognize love in the exact way that you give it out and so you expect to receive it in the exact same way as you give it.
You allow the seemingly ‘ordinary’ courtesies, tasks and gestures of affection that your partner does for you to go unacknowledged, because they’re not your chosen method of expressing love. What you call love, is narcissism
 
Surely, love cannot be as hard as we make it out to be!
 
Value yourself. Open your heart and give a chance to those who come to genuinely touch it.
 
Let True Love in.



 
 
If you found this article relatable, let me know what you think. Do you want to live more intentionally and develop your gifts/talents for maximum impact? Feel free to reach me via email: identitycoach@yetundebernard.com. You can also connect with me via;

Instagram @identitycoach
Facebook @identitycoach1
 
I look forward to hearing from you.
 
Remember:
Permit your freedom. Live in the moment.  Live You; Now!
 
Yetunde Bankole-Bernard is ‘The identity Coach™”
Certified as an Image Consultant, Human connection and Personality type practitioner and Work place psychologist.

 
 
 



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