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Thong Thieves!

by West Africa Contributor

Growing up in Africa, you are always taught about how you should never pick up objects you find on the street nor cut your nails or brush your hair at a stranger’s house because all these things were said to be used for rituals – rituals that would harm the person who’s DNA was being used (yes, we were often told that you could disappear, fall ill or die), whilst empowering the person performing the ritual with wealth, fame and good fortune. So when I first heard about the reported incidents of women’s used panties being stolen across Nigeria it was barely a big deal – many of us have heard of these stories whether as myths or practical life lessons. But this trend did not quiet down, nor has it shown signs of slowing down. In fact, reports of these “panty theft” incidents has been on the rise since late last year. Not only that, they have now escalated from discreet stories about panties being stolen from bathrooms and clothing lines, to reports about how women have been held at gunpoint until they agreed to surrender their undies. Imagine that!

Cuplrit: arrested after being caught stealing a lady's underwear

According to Nigerian Tribune writers Rotimi Ige and Muyiwa Adeyemo

“many churches now have it in their prayer points and are having orientation programs on how members can avert victimization” 

Welp! How did we get here?
There are men (accusations are all leaning towards young men who are involved in internet fraud, or 'Yahoo Boys') who believe that used women’s panties are a key ingredient for “money rituals”; these are rituals used to allegedly gain and maintain wealth. Now, I could get deep into the ‘down and dirty’ about money rituals and the men allegedly doing them and promoting them to their peers as a bonafide way to get rich. But I’m not. I want to focus on the fact that everyone else realizes the true ‘power of the pu**y’ except those who have it. There are several beliefs that believe that it is possible to "steal a person's lucky star or another person's destiny" in order to progress in life - but I want to focus on us as women and the brightly shining stars we have that we seldom acknowledge.
This honestly feels like a plot to a new series or superheroine movie, where the men start realizing that they actually do not have what it takes to be their best selves nor to build a world that is safe, prosperous and secure for all without the magic super power of a woman (found in her undies). And the best part of this superpower is that its not even sexually transmitted, because guess what? We already live in a world where women are sex kittens whose purpose is to make men feel good about themselves. This plot twist is all about how the essence of a woman, even when diluted in the laundry, is so powerful that men are now ready to risk getting caught sniffing through a clothing line of lingerie to get it.
But here’s the thing – this is not a plot of a fictional Marvel box office hit – this is the truth and nothing but the truth. Woman, do you have any idea how deeply powerful you are? Do you have any idea how intrinsic the ability to create wealth is to your existence? Stop selling yourself short, stop putting yourself down as 2nd class or weaker than your male counterpart – he would go to great lengths to have the power you have in the threads of your DNA. If they had what you have, they would be stealing each other’s boxer shorts. In the words of South African media personality Boity Thulo, “own your throne”! Do not allow yourself to be deceived that without a man to lift you up, you can not rise. You have absolutely all it takes to stand tall, to achieve your dreams, to buy that car or that house on your own. Let a man’s role in your life be a choice you make, and not a compulsory means for survival and success. And also, don't forget to keep your panties safe! #securethepanty

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